Weird article I found

I was looking at some animal websites when I found this article: (sorry it copied weirdly)

The Secret Duck Despotism?

Ducks: Wild, innocent, and playful. Ducks lead there own, quiet, lives, usually apart from humans.

Illustration 1: A domestic Duck

Or are they? In the last month, striking new evidence has come to light that ducks are not as they seem. According to professor James Gaglardi Drake of IGSE University, ducks secretly rule humans. “It's subtle- the movements and patterns of their feathers and head secretly commands us” Drake explains. “Ducks constantly are ruling us, and controlling us.” It is believed that the Ducks are led by a strange deity known as Sadnonic Ystronn. So far, Drake has deciphered 68 secret Duck commands using a spin-off of the traditional Tridecimal RGM Animate Coder framework, or TRAC. TRAC is a method developed by the CIA for the decoding of enemy/criminal STAM (Subconscious Tridecimal Animate Manipulation).
Not only do the Ducks clandestinely shape our lives, they even have a concealed underground headquarters, believed to be under Florida. “Ducks are constantly disappearing down holes. Here at the Anatidae Doccus department at IGSE, we agree that these holes are secret entrances to the Headquarters” says Drake. “Ducks have a whole underground tunnel complex, which is how they access every part of the world.”

Illustration 2: A duck headquarters entrance

Ducks, as it turns out, not only control us, but they created us. They started to colonize earth shortly after it was created, and they created humans out of chimpanzees.
This does not mean that we should try to destroy the Ducks; on the contrary, it means that we should respect and thank them for our existence. Drake says “As a species, humans depend on ducks. With out their influence, our civilization would collapse.”